The Ugly Singaporean...On the Bus

I've always wanted to write about this. I guess if i really swipe out a notepad and jot down evry nuance of these ugly Singaporean psyches everytime i see one, i would really have a long list.

Unfortunately, i do not really have the habit of carrying a notepad around, and usually it takes some time for me to internalise it, then only when it happens to me In-The-Face a few more times would i really be incensed enough to bear a grudge or even write about it.

Ok back to the story, i just wanna make the point that the Ugly Singaporean is everywhere to be seen, no matter where you look, no matter where you hide. Yes i believe it exists in almost evryone of us, including myself, i ain't really that kinda self-righteous prick.

I guess i will just note down a few facets of the Ugly Singaporean from time to time, perhaps then when i look back at these entries of mine, i can also remind myself never to commit those crimes again.

On a quiet day on the way back home after a hard day's work, you fail to get a seat on the bus, but that's ok. Somehow i have taken a preference to standing on bus trips. I get to observe more stuff, noting how people bahave in a typical social environment. In Singapore, it's almost like the famous Elevator Syndrome takes on a whole new dimensionin Singapore. The claustrophobic and I-only-want-to-be-so-close-to-you-for-the-trip atmosphere seems extended to the whole bus in Singapore. Everyone behaves like a stranger to each other on the bus.

It's almost as if it would be more interesting to figure out the lousy english some numbskulls used to carve love declarations on the back of the backseats, or just jacking in to your Ipod, mobile, fiddling with ur hp and pretending to sms, almost as if all these were more enriching and interesting than to give a simple smile to an oft-seen neighbour (and by neighbour i mean someone who lives in the neighbourhood, not just in ur same HDB block). Hell, almost everyone's a stranger on the bus unless the person beside you is ur partner whom you're trying to do hanky with at the back of the bus.

Then there's the act-deaf, act-blind attitude that some bus commuters have.Bendy buses are good inventions, but it somehow doesn't really matter in Singapore. Not because there are just too many people packed on this island, but because some of us have this devil-may-care attitude; how many times have you witnessed people playing dumb when the bus driver is already hollering at people to move to the rear of the bus in all national languages! Some people just pretend not to be able to see the space behind, continue hanging around near the door and chat with their frenz, if alone pretend to sms or make a call. Some of these people are either really deaf/blind or just being singaporean.

Some just want to be the first to get down and so stick to the door for dear life. I wonder if the authorities should come up with a concession fare for this minority since they give up their seats so willingly. Oh no i'm wrong, there is this group of people within this minority that is even more power....they nestle in strategic seats close to the door the whole journey, then when it gets to a popular stop where they expect almost the whole bus will alight, they get up and squirm their way all the way to the door just so as to be the first to alight. Some are so kanjiong they get up from their treasured seats one stop earlier. No dunt be mistaken that they have heeded the public campaign to alight one stop earlier and walk the rest of the journey to keep fit. SIngaporeans will have none of that shit and most will claim the obesity situation isn't as bad as compared to Western countries(erm, you mean sunny Singapore is not Western? hmm...) No way hosey, these people (mostly aunties, i note) actually strategically plan their seats to be near the door, spring up a stop earlier and gives the next seat-conqueror a real dirt look, just to make sure they are the first to alight.

I am darned sure all this planning could be put to better use by Singaporeans in other areas. I mean look at how some of us chope seats at hawker centers and food courts and you will understand our quick thinking, reflexes, innovativity and ingenuity.

Sometimes i note with disgust how some aunties try to beat the system by flashing their ez-link like 4 stops ahead of their stop, just to save those few cents, then justify to the driver that GST and bus ticket prices have gone up, even throw in arguments like the air-con was hot or that she(ok by now u shld realise my main issue is with aunties) didnt get a seat so she could pay less. Well the system has caught up by adjusting the reader to only read cards during stops at bus stops, but it isnt foolproof, especially given this calibre of Singaporean aunties. I really ain't surprised that the authorities are taking a serious look at fare-cheating cases.

Imean i really think we should be more than thankful for such a world-class inter-linked transport system that many other countries are envious of. We really shouldn't abuse it and try to cheat the system. I know sometimes we all have the craving to break a law or two and escape being found. But sometimes these culprits with baskets of veg in hand are obviously exploiting the system left,right,center and intend to do so for the rest of their lives . They are either trying to bankrupt the bus company or their conscience.

To all these kanjiong spider aunties, i only have one thing to say to them. In a very Army lingo, we should just give each of these aunites a spider. Apologise to those who dunt und the saying, but i must refrain from expletives lest i face an angry horde of aunties on my next bus trip.